The best questions to ask dementia patients

How to communicate with a person with dementia

You know your loved one the best so seek out questions that relate to happy moments in their life. Did they enjoy their childhood, their career, their big family? Look for moments they will enjoy reminiscing about.

As a starting point, here are some tips to improve communication between you and the person you are connecting with.

Try sharing your own memory or story first - the details of your recollections may spark memories. Avoid asking ‘Do you remember when…’ but instead share an experience on a specific topic and ask the person with dementia to reciprocate with their own memory or story. Be as descriptive as possible and paint a picture using all your senses.

Work with the details the person with dementia remembers - with many memories, certain elements of the moment stick in the mind stronger than others. If the person with dementia can share and describe their first house - the colour of the walls, the shape of the garden, the size of the kitchen - and recall how amazing it was but not the street or town it was located in, it’s okay to stay on the details they remember.

Make sure it’s a back-and-forth conversation - avoid asking complicated questions or only asking questions and not responding to the person with dementia’s replies. A constant stream of queries may make them feel intimidated or under the spotlight, which may make them withdraw.

Adapt to the person with dementia - is there a time of day when the person with dementia can communicate more clearly? This is a good time to focus on opening connections. Some days will be easier than others, so make sure you adapt the question complexity depending on whether it’s a ‘good’ day or not.

Practice active listening - this means offering verbal and non-verbal encouragement such as making eye contact, nodding and reacting to what the person with dementia is saying. It’s also helpful to read body language, as this can reveal clear signals about how they are feeling as they recall certain memories.

Include the person with dementia in conversations with others - help them feel included by bringing them into conversations with others. This can also support their sense of identity and feeling of being valued. The most important thing is not to speak as though they are not there.

11 questions to ask dementia patients

Revisiting a cherished memory is an enriching and positive experience for people with dementia. Asking the right questions can bring out these positive moments and recollections that can be savoured even when that person can no longer remember them. Here are some suggested questions to ask dementia patients as a starting point.

●       My mother/father always makes amazing [type of food]. Do you like this? What was your favourite food growing up?

●       I used to spend hours outside in the fields and woods near my house growing up. Did you like exploring as a child?

●       I miss my pet [cat/dog/rabbit] when I’m away from home. He/she’s called [name of pet]. Did you have a pet? What was their name?

●       On my recent travels, I flew over to [country], it was amazing exploring a new place and culture. How you ever been there? Where was your favourite country/place to visit?

●       Once, when my son/daughter was little, they were being funny by [share a story]. Do you have any stories from when your children were young?

●       My favourite film is [movie] because [reason]. What kind of films do you like? Do you have a favourite?

●       Outside the window, I can see the daffodils swaying in the breeze. They are a beautiful golden yellow and I love planting them in my own garden. Do you like gardening?

●       When we were teenagers, my friends and I used to love catching the train to [place]. What did you and your friends do for fun at that age?

●       I played a lot of [type of sport] when I was younger and still do sometimes. Which sports have you enjoyed?

●       My mother/father/teacher once told me ‘[message]’ and it always stuck with me. What was the most valuable thing you’ve learned from your parents?

●       A funny thing happened to me yesterday. It was.. [share funny story]. What’s the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?